Wednesday Poetry Prompt: As change happens

Seesaw

At the apex of the world

I am lifted up, up, up off my seat – set free

As if all gravity had let loose my bounds

Released me to the sky

That I might fly and float away.

On the threshold of all newness,

I am brought round, reminded

That all things connected

Hinge on a balance.

And back to the ground

I am drawn down and rooted

Again, in all truth –

To look back up at the sky.

-Krina Ulmer -June 10th

Losing the battle

She cries doggedly,
Determined to fight
The sleep she quakes for.
Upon my chest, her
Breath, a stuttering
Low lament – waning
Now against my neck.

Weighty, her eyes stamp
Out, the beat of her
Displeasure slowing.
Eyes stretched up open,
Fall heavy closed,
Counting down until
Ah – sweet sleep’s release.

-Krina Ulmer -June 13th

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Wednesday Poetry Prompt: Colour plus animal poem

The rule was to take the colour of the shirt I was wearing and combine it with the last animal I had seen and write a poem about them. I took a more abstract approach to the subject …
  Cyan Cat

Teal:

Creature to creature –

I know not which way

Your tail is twitching,

In my favour or your own. 

Turquoise:

Not pet, not kept

But here – despite.

We – two – chose to live

Side by side.

Uncommon, common company.

Verdigris:

We rub each other,

Sometimes the wrong way.

Lacking a language

Between our needs.

Blue:

Seeking together a space

Where we – two – can fill

that common, unspoken

Creature shaped

Place in between.
Another attempt:
Sea blue cat


Languid like fluid

She pours herself out

Along the covers

Pooling into a puddle

Of sunshine

Evaporating into the liquid light.
– Krina Ulmer

Wednesday Poetry Prompt: May 27th – Learning

Hands so tiny, the laces snake about
Like ropes – all a tangle.
Hair cascades down to the floor,
Face bent over, so near her feet
I wonder at how a body
Can collapse itself, so small.

Again her fingers dance about,
Twining the strings,
Around and over and under.
She sets to the task with
As much sheer will and concentration
As any surgeon tying up knots might do.

But it all comes undone,
And eyes like full moons, look up
And pull me into her gravity.
Knees sink to the floor,
Heads bowed down to the ground,
Our hands wrestle the snake together.

-Krina Ulmer

Wednesday Poetry Prompt: May 20th – Childhood

Childhood: TheirsWP_001547

High above my head
The water is careening
Out and over the edge –
White and foamy.
It crashes down the eroding rock face
Throwing itself carefree
Out and over
And over and onto
Onto and away
And away

Standing at the bottom
I stand, arms outstretched
Trying to grab hold of the spray
As it alights all over my face –
Runs like rivulets
Down my cheeks, careless
Out and over
And over and onto
Onto and away
And away

-Krina Ulmer

Wednsday Poetry Prompt: May 13 – Loss

I decided to try joining in on the weekly prompts from this site: Poetic Asides by Robert Lee Brewer, the same site that hosted the daily poetry writing in April.
Loss

Like falling, but in the opposite direction.

Empty handed grasping at your breath

Sound carried away – out of your ears

Hollowed, hollow, hollowing.

Hovering helpless

Heart heavy and

Alone

20: Liebster Award: Or a little bit more about me

Leibster-award

My friend and talented blogger at Capturing the Charmed Life, Teresa, nominated me to take part in the Liebster awards – I am flattered and thankful I don’t have to accept something in person. You have all been spared a fantastic blushing face and I, a wicked headache.

The gist of the matter is Teresa asked 11 random fact questions about me and I am to nominate up to 11 other bloggers. But all my blogging friends have already done this and I am not a good participant at the best of times. I have quiet, subversive, rebellious tendencies (just ask my family). But I will not stop you from participating, so if you read this and have a blog I don’t know about consider yourself tagged. I like Teresa’s questions so just answer the same ones I did.

Here are my responses to her questions:

  1. What got you into blogging?

Flashback (to be read with quiet consternation) — The year was 2007 and I had four young children ranging in age from 2-7.  My days were filled with feedings, naps, laundry, and ten thousand other pressing daily needs, not mine.  My husband was not yet diagnosed with ADHD, he mostly resided in the basement working as best as he could undiagnosed with ADHD.  I was then in the first throws of our homeschooling adventure with one child who read when she was 4 and another telling me she didn’t need to learn to read. In a nutshell, money was tight, people’s opinions (including my own) of our situation were heavy and I was more than a little overwhelmed with everything.  I came to realize that I had spent years within the same four walls and my mind was becoming a very small, cramped up place filled with fears, anxieties, and troubles.  I was closer to relating to shut-ins than to the young woman who had moved to East Vancouver when she was 17 to go to University.  I needed to write it out, and I needed to feel like people were listening, that I wasn’t alone in it all — so Queenheroical was born.  It was my messy closet of thought spilling out and it helped me regain sanity and identity in that time.

Currently, I still have four kids (WHOOT!) but they are now 10-14 years old and my mothering is at a completely different stage, we have been homeschooling for 10 years (they all read!), and at 42, I blog in hopes of finding out what the rest of my life has in store for me.  These are the years no one prepares you for – the after marriage and kids years.  So I Chase the Glowing Hours and write poetry because I want to 🙂

  1. What is your hometown, and where have you travelled?

I was born in Terrace, BC.  Yup, the town everyone has lived in at some time and was glad to leave.  But honestly, I think it is a beautiful, rough-hewn place, with muddy wild rivers, and green forever.

I haven’t travelled much but I have lived in different places in BC; Terrace, Williams Lake, Prince George, Nanaimo, Vancouver, Kamloops.  I have been to the Oregon Coast and looked out over the Pacific Ocean, to Cavendish, PEI and looked out over the Atlantic Ocean, I have travelled by ferry along the inside passage down the coast of BC, driven through the Rockies and across the Prairies to Grenfell, SK to visit my lovely in-laws.

  1. What quote represents your philosophy in life?

The best way to help the world is to start by loving each other, not blandly, blindly, but realistically, with understanding and forebearance and forgiveness. –Madeleine L’Engle

That one is a longtime favourite but I love quotes – as my pins might tell you

https://www.pinterest.com/krinau/things-that-make-me-smile/

  1. What’s the first thing you do in the morning?

My sassy self wants to answer:  turn off the alarm, take my medication, take out my night guard and put on my glasses.  (Yes, all very romantic)

My best self says:  Lately, David and I have been getting up at 6:30am to go out walking before he goes to work.  It has been the best way to start my day.

  1. What’s the last thing you do at night?

Kiss my husband with my night guard in because he loves me just that much.

  1. If you were an animal, what would you be, and why?

An animal – I never like this question, I find it very hard. Today – I say a heron. They are mostly solitary, they like the water, and can fly.

  1. Why did you choose to have children?

Choose?  I can’t say — because it just was always a thing. I knew, given the opportunity, I would be a mother. David, thankfully, was on the same page. What I didn’t know was what it really meant, for my life, for my heart.  I had a very TV-ed notion of motherhood, thank goodness, it is a much richer, a more painful, and a much more faceted thing than that.

  1. What’s the ideal summer vacation location?

Currently, that would be a cabin/vacation home on a small gulf island overlooking the ocean where I would have a small desk for writing at, while my kids play down at the beach, and my husband snoozes in a hammock after reading a book. There would also be some very tasty treats on the table which had recently been procured from a local farmer’s market.

  1. What was one of the most meaningful life lessons you’ve gained from one of the most difficult experiences you’ve had?

Tough one– I think it must be that not getting the answers to big questions, no matter how desperately you want them or even need them, will not kill you.  As much as closure is important, it isn’t always an option and you will need to carry on despite all. This reality came to me on different fronts, the most impactful being the death of my father when I was 24.

  1. What are your goals for the year?

I am bad with goals.  I, both, admire the idea of them and loath the constraint I feel when I set them.  I need to look at them out of the corner of my eye so as to not spook them. Currently, I am working on feeding myself mindfully in hopes of obtaining a healthier body weight, and feeding my personal “passions” in hopes of building a future vocation.

  1. What is one of your happiest memories?

One moment times four – setting eyes on the faces of my children all bundled up in swaddling cloth fresh from the womb. Each was born via C-section and this is how each was presented. Every time, each face … the best moments.

IMG_2837

19: Forest for the trees

 Not like a bolt out of the blue but rather like the slow opening up of one’s eyes on a bright morning, it has occurred to me that I have been labouring under a serious misconception of what “future” steps I thought I should be taking.

Truth is … this life’s work thing is not an all or nothing proposition.

I have been operating under the false presumption that I must choose – choose a single thing, a single passion, in order to become truly proficient I should shed all other interests to develop the one – but what if they are all one, in a global sense.

I have been oscillating between teaching, creative arts, and writing – but I see (in a blurred colours kind of way) that I don’t need to choose. In fact I really shouldn’t, it would be like choosing a favourite child; there are no winners when you pick a favourite child.

Never could it or will it be said that I am single-minded. This has been a self-imposed needle in my side, I have often thought of myself as scattered and unfocused – a jack of all trades and master of none, that is how the saying goes after all. But as I look around, look back, look near … I see that themes have remained, there has been consistency in this journey. I am the one who has been pulling the threads apart looking for the “best” among them. But a quilt isn’t one piece …

Knowing the pattern isn’t new, but accepting that this is the path and that each of these glimmering threads are to come with me, to form some—thing yet to be, that is the fresh light in my today.

17: Post poem-a-day malaise …

wordle

I sit antsy at the computer, searching among the keys for the reason, seeing only the horrible buildup of dust settling into the far reaches.  Thinking about how I should clean them out, not knowing how …

They say … the “they” who are so much better acquainted with the reasons why than I am … they say that it takes 30 days to form a habit … have I formed a poetry habit? Have I become addicted to the rhythmic bounce of words?  Has my brain become dependent upon the upswing of serotonin found in sounds?

How do poets just “poet”?  I have a niggling feeling I already know but I wonder at what might happen once I fall between the keys, cleaned out of the soft dust bed buildup …

Poetry Month: Writer’s Digest PAD challenge, Day 30: Bury the (fill in the blank) poem

(Do not) bury the past

Do not bury the past
So quickly,

Give pause the moment,
And let it sink in.
Look for the colours,
So grey to begin.

Look for the silver,
To shimmer then shine.
To give a new luster,
To days once benign.

Let go the hurt –
Yes – and the damning.
But hold to the truth,
Without the door slamming.

Burn not all bridges,
The road’s ever widening.
Find your own path,
Feel the weight lightening.

Watch to the end,
To where you have run.
You might be surprised,
How far you have come.

-Krina Ulmer

Well — that is that, the last one.  Kind of shmarmy but I just wrote 30 poems in 30 days and I am certainly sort of proud of that accomplishment so shmarmy it is.  What next?  I don’t know, I do know my husband will be sad if I stop.  I am not making promises instead I am looking for a plan I can actually live with and feel accomplished in.  I guess you will just have to wait.  In the meantime … what are you doing for your future self today?