19: Forest for the trees

 Not like a bolt out of the blue but rather like the slow opening up of one’s eyes on a bright morning, it has occurred to me that I have been labouring under a serious misconception of what “future” steps I thought I should be taking.

Truth is … this life’s work thing is not an all or nothing proposition.

I have been operating under the false presumption that I must choose – choose a single thing, a single passion, in order to become truly proficient I should shed all other interests to develop the one – but what if they are all one, in a global sense.

I have been oscillating between teaching, creative arts, and writing – but I see (in a blurred colours kind of way) that I don’t need to choose. In fact I really shouldn’t, it would be like choosing a favourite child; there are no winners when you pick a favourite child.

Never could it or will it be said that I am single-minded. This has been a self-imposed needle in my side, I have often thought of myself as scattered and unfocused – a jack of all trades and master of none, that is how the saying goes after all. But as I look around, look back, look near … I see that themes have remained, there has been consistency in this journey. I am the one who has been pulling the threads apart looking for the “best” among them. But a quilt isn’t one piece …

Knowing the pattern isn’t new, but accepting that this is the path and that each of these glimmering threads are to come with me, to form some—thing yet to be, that is the fresh light in my today.

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