Day one blog … check
A plan for what I am actually going to do … … … … (crickets) …. (Inward cringe)
Well, that is a good question … she said to herself in a slight undertone of “good grief.” Planning is not a natural inclination of mine. I like ideas, I like possibilities. I don’t much like boxes on paper telling me where I should be and what I should be doing. Um … why yes … I do homeschool my kids. Well … my kids are at home … learning stuff … stating that “I homeschool them” is placing too much significance on my role in the matter. (I promise you … they can all read, and add, and subtract and they know stuff about history and science). I just don’t want to overstate how this came about … I am not, I repeat, not a planner, and our learning regime is based on a very loose routine of repeated behavior … there are no calendars, no time lines, no books filled with coloured blocks of who is doing what … I stick to the 3 R’s … reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic. The rest is self-directed and encouraged.
I can and do pull myself together enough to organize things but it is not my comfort place to do so especially when I am the only invested person involved. Essential Krina point number two: I am willing to lay down great gobs of time and effort for others … but I am most often content to float along without a plan or prescribed purpose.
This all leads back to … what am I trying to accomplish here with this blog … how in the world do I start? This was easier as a student in school … the plan was all mapped out by teachers and advisors. “Well, she is a smartish kid. She should go to university.” Awesome, that is a plan I can follow … and did … twice. But I am at a point in my life where I am not being advised, directed, or encouraged to follow a prescribed life path. It is all wide open, I realize this makes me an especially lucky individual – it is almost magical and I owe him a great deal of gratefulness for the opportunity to “play” while he works. (He enjoys certain privileges as well … let’s remember … but I am still lucky). So how and where do I begin looking for a life plan … one that fits … one that inspires … one that actually goes somewhere?
I am a bit stymied. But I have an idea to start … it begins on my bookshelf.
I collect books about writing and poetry and stories and crafting … but I don’t read them, not fully. I touch the covers, my eyes flit over them, touch upon them like talismans. But it is with a desperate heart of longing and doubt, I look away. It is time to find out – it is time to pick them up and despite my nagging fear discover if they hold anything for me, any real thing. Or am I just clutching too tightly to a myth and missing out on a greater truth?
So my plan is to read and study these books … there are more in other such cubbies on my shelves … I am not certain how I will report on my reading … my studying … but I will and in doing so, with some notion of accountability to my make-believe world found here … I hope to discover a true fit for myself.
Yup –seems reasonable …